This is an example of the lazy and out-of-shape facebook status update.  Someone who spends most of their day sitting on their ass watching tv then follows it up with a night of binge drinking with her bimbo friends feels it is necessary to let all of her facebook friends know that she is actually going to get some exercise today.  People who need to announce they are going to exercise do so because they think it is some impressive feat that deserves recognition.  Unfortunately, these exercise sessions occur once every few weeks or months and do little to no good for these attention-starved squishies.  Nobody cares you are going to the gym.  You should be exercising for your own well-being and not for attention on facebook.

This isn't even in the ballpark of a "status update."  This is a common theme on facebook and away message.  Someone takes some some lyric that they somehow feel they can identify with and decide to post it for everyone to see.  This leaves them feeling poetic and fulfilled, but really they are just copy and pasting someone else's writing that has nothing to do with them.

Yes congrats fucktard.  You voted for a candidate who you liked.  That definitely warrants an update.  You were part of history, you voted in an election.  Everybody is happy for you.  Anyone who is eligible to vote should be doing so in every presidential election.  The fact that you did what is expected of you does not make you a part of history.  It means you fulfilled your responsibility as an American citizen (albeit for just one day in your dull and boring life).

Maybe I should make a status update saying "is so happy I went to work today!  I was a part of history!"

What the fuck is this?  That doesn't remotely qualify in any way, shape, or form as an update on one's "status!"  Here we have the cliché quote from a movie, book, vogue, etc that makes some girl feel insightful.  You typically see these updates from some girl who recently had some type of bad luck with a male in her life and is trying to openly demonstrate that she isn't naive and vulnerable.

Fear not, each post will censor the subject's photo and name as to protect his/her privacy.  We wouldn't want anybody's feelings getting hurt now would we?